I'm not the type who constantly bemoans her "single" status or can't be happy without a man by her side. I love my independence, am generally a very happy person, and am grateful beyond words for all the amazing experiences I've had because I'm single. Some days, though, I just wonder what gives. Ever since Elder Oaks first gave his talk about dating vs. hanging out, I've felt like I needed to have a more solid Plan B. Plan A, of course, is to get married and start a family; Plan B is what I should be doing in the meantime. His words still ring in my ears:
If you are just marking time waiting for a marriage prospect, stop waiting. You may never have the opportunity for a suitable marriage in this life, so stop waiting and start moving. Prepare yourself for life—even a single life—by education, experience, and planning. Don’t wait for happiness to be thrust upon you. Seek it out in service and learning. Make a life for yourself. And trust in the Lord. (Click here for the full talk.)
So here I am four years later, fully immersed in my Plan B. I quit my mindless job and came back to school full-time to earn the degree I've always dreamed of. I volunteer at an agency that has completely opened my eyes and given me hope for a brighter future. I have great plans to someday save the world, one person at a time. But you know what? My Plan B pales in comparison to Plan A. Don't get me wrong; I have a rockin' Plan B. I love it. I talk about it as if it's the most important thing in the world to me. But I'll let you in on a little secret: It's not. I'd give it all up for my Plan A. In a heartbeat.
So what gives? What gives?! I'm just wondering...
I wonder if somehow while perfecting my Plan B, I forgot to also work towards my Plan A. Did I overlook any Plan A "prospects" because I was too focused on Plan B? Have I missed my chance for Plan A? Can I possibly have both Plan A and Plan B? These are just a few of the questions that have been polluting my mind over the past couple of weeks. I'm just throwing them out into the universe hoping I'll somehow be able to make sense of it all.
If you are just marking time waiting for a marriage prospect, stop waiting. You may never have the opportunity for a suitable marriage in this life, so stop waiting and start moving. Prepare yourself for life—even a single life—by education, experience, and planning. Don’t wait for happiness to be thrust upon you. Seek it out in service and learning. Make a life for yourself. And trust in the Lord. (Click here for the full talk.)
So here I am four years later, fully immersed in my Plan B. I quit my mindless job and came back to school full-time to earn the degree I've always dreamed of. I volunteer at an agency that has completely opened my eyes and given me hope for a brighter future. I have great plans to someday save the world, one person at a time. But you know what? My Plan B pales in comparison to Plan A. Don't get me wrong; I have a rockin' Plan B. I love it. I talk about it as if it's the most important thing in the world to me. But I'll let you in on a little secret: It's not. I'd give it all up for my Plan A. In a heartbeat.
So what gives? What gives?! I'm just wondering...
I wonder if somehow while perfecting my Plan B, I forgot to also work towards my Plan A. Did I overlook any Plan A "prospects" because I was too focused on Plan B? Have I missed my chance for Plan A? Can I possibly have both Plan A and Plan B? These are just a few of the questions that have been polluting my mind over the past couple of weeks. I'm just throwing them out into the universe hoping I'll somehow be able to make sense of it all.
10 comments:
You have a great way with words, and I'm glad that you're excited about your plan B. You can have plan A and plan B. Then sometimes you have to create a plan C. My friend has a great quote. "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans"
I think we focus so much on what we don't have that it gets in the way of what we have. I think it rocks that you've gone back to school and a persuing what you love. Trust me....you haven't missed him. If he were hanging around you would no. At least this way you don't have to answer to anyone but you. I sometimes stress about how quickly I jumped in, but we all have a plan. Enjoy the ride. Love ya Becca.
I love reading your posts. I think everyone is immersed in plan B when plan A arrives. At least thats the way it should be. The truth is though, that there is no Plan A Plan B. There is only one path and that is the one you are on. You can't go back and change the path you've already taken, so stop worring about that. Just keep walking down your path and use the Spirit as a compas.
If you figure it out, let me know! :)
I am in the same boat, and I have had the same concerns about having missed a chance along the way. Then I look back at who those chances have been and...nope. Not them.
The good part is, you are on a path that leads you to happiness, so whomever you find along that path is going to be a part of that. Wouldn't it be so much worse to find someone while going down a path that doesn't really make you happy, just for the sake of finding him?
So, choose a path that you love, in the end, you win!
But yeah, I know what you mean.
Oh Becca- You thoughts sounds just like mine at times!!! I TOTALLY know what you mean- and now I'm pursuing a Fabulous career which I LOVE, but I sometimes wonder if I'm not putting enough effort into "Plan A". I'm like you in that, I Love what I'm doing, but would Definitely give it ALL UP if the right person came along. I finally realized though- if I'm doing all in my power, attending my meetings/activites/temple... following the commandments, etc- God will take care of it, so I don't need to worry...quite a load off for me actually :-). I just keep going down the path I'm on and let him guide me. I was getting so frustrated where I was living before because I didn't feel like I was really meeting anyone I felt like I could be compatible with- then in the blink of an eye, I moved across the country for a promotion (never thought I'd ever live out this way)- and I am AMAZED at the people I'm meeting. I just love it! Whether or not my "mr. right" is out this way- who knows- but I'm loving life and meeting SO many people who inspire me in so many ways.
Keep doing what you're doing!! you're amazing!!!
sorry for the long comment! Obviously i had a lot to say...I've been there SO many times...
Aww, thanks everyone. You are all so sweet. Thanks for reading my rants. Sometimes it's helps to just throw it out there so it's not running around in my head anymore. I appreciate your kind words, advice, and encouragement. It really helps. :)
I agree that you do have a talent for writing Bex! Plan A is what we all want but really can't plan, so it should be called Desire A and Plan B. Because in my experience Desire A comes when you're fully invested in Plan B but still leaving the door open for Desire A. I agree with what Elise said that if you're doing your end of the bargain and living Plan B God will take care of Desire A when the time and circumstances are right. Hang in there, and enjoy your Plan B!
Becca, you will find that someone! My sister is kinda in the same boat traveling town the path towards plan B but looking for Plan A and found this song she said it describes what she is trying to do. Maybe it will help you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NG2zyeVRcbs You will have to get past the fact that it is Miley Cyrus, but the words are good and not such a bad song. You are a brave woman to be able to delete your entire facebook account. I have been trying forever and have not been able to ever do it. Way to go!
Becca, I totally needed to read this and all the comments your friends left. This is excatly how I have been feeling for about the past 6 months. Honestly, it's nice to know I'm not alone!
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