The 80/20 Rule

At Institute a few weeks ago, the instructor taught us his "80/20 rule" for dating and courtship. He said that when we're dating we have a tendency to rule people out too quickly based on their flaws. He went on to explain that a good rule of thumb is to pay attention to what you like and dislike about that person. If you appreciate/love at least 80% and only dislike about 20%, hold on tight! We're all so different that 20% "bad" in a mate is actually pretty darn good. I chuckled a little when he shared this with us, but it really struck me. Heck, considering all of my crazy tendencies, my only hope is that someone will use that rule with me. The least I can do is follow it myself. Ha ha!

Since then I've applied this rule in my life not only in dating situations but in friendships too. And I'll tell you what, it really helps. Every time I wanted to give up on a certain someone, I thought back to this rule. I constantly reminded myself, Rebecca, this guy is at least an 85/15, so don't freak out. The point in all of this, I suppose, is to quit focusing on the negative. That 80% is so much more important than the 20%, wouldn't you agree?

But...

(Did you sense that there would be a but?)

When you are trying to move on from a relationship that has just ended, go ahead and ignore that 80 and focus on the 20. It works like a charm! After talking to a friend on the phone last night, I realized I needed to sit down and do this. I wrote (with amazing ease, I might add) a list of about forty reasons why I needed to move on with my life. Every time one of the 80 popped into my head, I quickly pushed it aside and replaced it with one of the 20. Now whenever I feel lonely or sad, I'll just look at this list. Emotional crisis averted.

PS: Some of you may have noticed that I deleted my Facebook account. I just needed a little breather to get me through to the end of the semester. Not to worry, I'll be back. But until then, keep sending me your love through blog comments and/or phone calls. :)