Saturday, February 26, 2011

Control your thoughts

Earlier today I was talking to a friend about some things I’ve been struggling with, and I commented that I wasn’t really doing anything to help my situation. She stopped me and asked, "Do you really feel like you’re not doing anything?" I was taken aback because I hadn’t even realized that those words had come out of my mouth. In fact, I knew that what I said wasn’t even true - I have, in fact, been doing things to help myself. I even began listing those things off to her.

That conversation has been replaying in my head all day. With all of the negativity I expose myself to on a daily basis (at school, at work, while watching TV, etc.), it never occurred to me that I was exposing myself to much more within the confines of my own head. Have you ever thought about that? I’ve always been aware of the negative things I say to myself consciously, but I never considered how often I talk down to myself without even realizing it. I wonder what effect that has had on my self-esteem.

Last night at Institute* we talked about one of my favorite passages of scripture in The Pearl of Great Price*. Moses had just spoken with God who told him repeatedly, "Thou art my son." Moments later, Satan arrived and tried to tempt Moses. Multiple times he told him "Moses, son of man, worship me." Moses’s response always floors me. He looked at Satan and confidently stated "Who art thou? For behold, I am a son of God, in the similitude of his Only Begotten; and where is thy glory, that I should worship thee?" (Moses 1:13) Satan continued tempting him but Moses knew who he was and stood firm. What an incredible example!

I wish I could be more like Moses in times of adversity. After all, I know who I am. I am a daughter of God. Why is that so difficult to remember in times of challenge? How come it’s so much easier to look around and see the goodness in those around me? I’ll be the first to correct my friends when they talk down to themselves. It breaks my heart to hear that kind of negativity because I know it’s such a small portion of who that person really is. Shouldn’t we be just as aware of our own amazing qualities?

This week my goal is to be cognizant of the things I say to myself. When those moments of self-doubt creep in, I hope I can follow Moses’s example.

Who art thou, Satan?
For behold, I am a daughter of God!

*For those of you who don’t know what Institute or The Pearl of Great Price are, click here and here.


Shelly Belly said...

You are a beautiful soul. Thanks for being so awesome and always being there for me when I need a cry or a scream in the pillow ;) or someone to laugh with.

Liz said...

So today, I went to a sealing of a good friend and her fiance. The sealer mentioned something that really struck me. We need to start writing down every blessing we see every day. He said pretty soon, we will stop realizing the blessing after they happen and instead, recognize them when they are happening. When I read your blog, I thought of that. It's something I am definitely going to try and do because I tend to notice blessings months after they happen and usually wonder why I am going through certain things, only to realize months, sometimes years, later of why.